Oh poo, a squirrel?

Mystery solved. Mom, knowing my abundance of minimally useful knowledge, asked that I come by to repair her computer printer - and help her figure out what kind of droppings are littering her picture window sill. Approaching 94, same age as the scorching Florida temperature, she was understandably miffed at having to go out and clean it up every day.

Well, there we stood scratching our chins and speculating whether it could be lizard poop, snake excrement, giant spiders or an odd bird. Too small for dogs. Too long for rabbits, Armadillos are too clumsy to scale the wall. We were flummoxed. Until today. As I sat here typing random thoughts, which this is now one of, the cutest baby squirrel looked my way from our gazebo rail, and plopped an identical match. Then he winked and lightly hopped away - seriously. When I called her with the news, she said no - it is from a giant frog.

After two years of taping Dr Oz, I consider myself something of a poo expert - for diagnostic purposes of course.  It is incomprehensible that we were surrounded by acorns and squirrels taking evil bites from Avocados on Mom's tree, yet that culprit never entered our minds. Same for frogs despite their incessant ribits. Perhaps it was brain drain from the cake and ice cream beach trip two days earlier.

Let's take this as a segue into the serious aspects of what goes in must go out - efficiently.  Much as it is a hilarious topic, what we release from our bodies is revealing.  Have a headache?  Pay attention to what is not letting go - and hydrate and add perhaps 600 mg of magnesium to find relief. Magnesium Oxide may loosen you up more than intended, so choose other options like Magnesium Citrate in powder or capsules. No need to experience the toxic overload of holding anything in too long.

With my world travels, I am not proud to admit to incontinence in Continents of Asia, Europe,  North and South America.  I am proud that the past 3 years of yoga have resolved the issue through the magic of mulabanda, similar results to the Kegel exercises women have performed sneakily in your presence for years. Those muscles down below need tightening - and botox is not the answer.

Decades ago, I resided on the 20th floor of a prestigious high rise complex, unit 2001 like the Space Odyssey movie.  As a single professional gal, the tight security was welcome. So when the phone rang in the pre-dawn hours, years before caller ID, I hesitated as intuition was not telling me this is urgent. It was not.  I answered to hear the very concerned voice of the gal next door asking whether she should get immediately to a Doctor. Her urine was emitting the most offensive odor and something must be seriously wrong.  I asked what she had eaten - then nearly peed my sleepingT laughing. Asparagus - the only possible culprit. Bingo. They don't teach you these things in school. I can only wonder how many emergency calls are wasted on this harmless normal reaction.

The reason I knew the Asparagus reaction was rather serious. Mom, in her many trials with cancer, was required to wear what she called her "Sunday Purse" - an external bag to capture her urine.  For such a proud lady, the humiliation had to be immense - but she did her best to make light of everything and ease the discomfort of all around her.  She even taped a long pink zipper to her belly entering surgery for the re-opening of an incision.  But it was a very sad day when Doctors said she must never eat asparagus, her favorite vegetable, or the smell would forever permeate the Sunday Purse.  That is how I found out. How did you learn? Or is this news to you?

There was an excellent factual fiction I read around 2010 where the MD relied to great extent on the scents emitted from urine samples. "Cutting for Stone". (buy at Amazon)  He would predict with fair accuracy what issues existed from diabetes (sweet smell), kidney stones, liver failure to coronary issues. This is not  the fiction of that story. Consider yourself lucky if your wellness team ever includes anyone so talented. From a self-care perspective, be on the lookout for blood in urine, and laugh it off if you ate beets or excessive red dye.  Pee should be nearly clear, even after beets if your enzyme levels are strong. Florescent colors are common after vitamins. Check whether yours include any "FDA approved colors" and toss them. Best supplements are whole food vitamins, but they will cost a bit more and be less shelf stable over time. Dark urine is a warning of dehydration. Drink more water, and call your doctor if it does not resolve. Pay attention to the colors and don't worry about sniffing it - the Docs no longer know what to do with that insight.

Go here for in depth poop analysis & illustrations (yuck!).  Know that constipation is much more than the failure to poop. Yes, yet another reason to feel badly about ourselves. Get over it. Fix it. Something of a banana sized smooth firm dropping gets a star on your forehead. Rabbit pellets are constipation, as is the rocky road formation many have. Drink more water. Eat more fiber and fewer refined carbs and less sugar. On my early meeting days, I'm a rabbit pellet kinda gal due to the morning rush - and aware of the cranky nature that follows. If you live every day in a rush, consider putting yourself first.

Colors feed my soul.  So the dull colors of poop are a real downer, considering my efforts toward health - choosing rainbow colors of vegetables and fruits. Still I know this is important to monitor. Black is a sign of possible blood in the stool. Call Doc. Green is great sign of high vegetable consumption - but indicates you are not digesting properly. Consider added enzymes and probiotic supplements or using unsweetened yogurt or kefir to boost the good bacteria in your gut. Do not put pro with anti.  Antibiotics, if you must take them, knock out both good and bad bacteria.  It is common after a course of antibiotics to experience digestive issues, yeast infections, even ringworm and foot fungus. Boost the probiotics a few hours away from antibiotics, so they don't take up war on each other.

50 shades of brown will not raise eyebrows.  Do be on patrol if a pale color persists. The leaning toward tan may indicated gallbladder/liver concerns. Persistent floaters could indicate too much fat in the diet.

Have a full blood profile at least annually and know your Cardio health indicators. High triglycerides are the early warning sign to pre-diabetes and heart health.  High total cholesterol is not nearly of the great concern that drug companies would like to convey for the promotion of statins.   A few years ago, Doctors began raising red flags at a total cholesterol of 200. This is bogus if good cholesterol (HDL "Happy") is in normal range, as well as bad cholesterol (LDL "Lousy) plus triglycerides. Fortunately they are catching on now.  Before agreeing to statins, which for some will generate joint pain and other side effect, make a serious effort at diet refinements.  Fewer simple carbs and less sugar with the addition of soluble fiber to escort fats out of your body, will go a long way.

Note that a natural supplement is not always better than the prescription performing the same function.  I found that Natural Rice Yeast, a common alternative to statins, works in the same way as the prescription and has similar risk of joint pain in my experience. My solution was a supplement with cinnamon combined with ayurvedic and other herbs to assist how I processed sugars.  An apple a day, the old saying, is quite valid as the pectin helps a great deal. And cinnamon is a great sugar balancing option - but NOT via the Cinnabon delivery method.

Post menopausal life raises the risk of death from heart disease statistically to 6 times the risk of crossing over due to breast cancer. So bring your Mom lots of hugs and flowers, not donuts and candy.  Keep the faith that you are perfect, you are well - then exercise and nourish yourself in a way to prove that true. Then just watch what you create.;)