Meet you at the Intersection
Tolerance. It is always about our DIFFERENCES. A great blessing. What a vanilla world this would be - with all of us the same. Where would we find the fulfillment of contribution as we teach, influence, inspire those around us. What would we do with Professors, Pastors, Rabbis, Gurus and Preachers if everyone shared the same experiences, opinions, IQ, preferences and purpose in life? I DO love vanilla and the comfort of occasional "matching" of one who shares my beliefs in a given moment. But far more enticing is that indescribable moment of INTERSECTION, where two very different beings connect with passion and inspiration in a moment of synergy of action or ideas. Today that occurred not once, but three times with very special clients/friends. I am proud of their advances, their awakening, their aliveness. This is where success may be measured in my current stage of life. Abundance will follow them now as they hold faith and taste the possibilities aligned with who they are meant to be.
Balance - Really??
Balance...a funny aspiration: we are always doing too much or too little. Nobody is ever really in balance. Just love yourself wherever you are.
And eat a healthy breakfast early, to kick start your metabolism. Today my message reflects a do very little day. Recover from a strain and be kind to myself.
And eat a healthy breakfast early, to kick start your metabolism. Today my message reflects a do very little day. Recover from a strain and be kind to myself.
Assignment: ATAP Reverse Bucket List
You may be snowed in up North & the Southern Mountains, or relaxing and basking in the glorious weather to the South. Invest a few minutes, or hours, to play with this exercise I assign to select clients. Favorite Pen is important...words flow with more grace. I suggest a tiny quality notebook to carry with you, or a blank sheet of paper will work. Now begin. Create your ATAP REVERSE Bucket List. Yes, we don't care what you want to do. List the meaningful and amazing moments, adventures and travels of your life. WOW! Look what you have already done! Oh The Places You've Been! - Dr Seuss
Next, ponder the activities you enjoyed as a child. Include the sights, sounds, smells and feelings if within your reach. That's it. Watch your mind play with the implications. Are you still doing the things you love? Or living in a state of "Have to" obligations? What might you shift to achieve an "I GET to" state of being - without walking out on responsibilities? We must all work against the grain at times - but joy comes in those aligned moments. Find them and en-joy.
-Pam
Next, ponder the activities you enjoyed as a child. Include the sights, sounds, smells and feelings if within your reach. That's it. Watch your mind play with the implications. Are you still doing the things you love? Or living in a state of "Have to" obligations? What might you shift to achieve an "I GET to" state of being - without walking out on responsibilities? We must all work against the grain at times - but joy comes in those aligned moments. Find them and en-joy.
-Pam
Ageless at 94 (November 18, 2013)
Yesterday my life loving Mom-in-Law turned 94 on a good day. Mom/Judy stepped into my life 23 years ago. Actually she two stepped in. My first recall of meeting Punch and Judy was on their way to the Elks club Western theme party. They were dressed full out in their Stetsons, bolero ties, cowboy boots and scarves. I knew my now husband "McGyver" had a fun loving Mom, as was Clara, the Mom I lost too early in 1979. Judy has been a Mom and friend to me since long before my husband figured out we were together to stay. Yes, it is unusual to feel blessed by a great Mother-in-law relationship. It is actually not even socially acceptable, so we speak in hushed voices when I find others who are so lucky.
Perhaps this mention will thin the crowds on Florida's roads: On her 94th, Mom renewed her drivers license with nothing but a vision test. The reality is that she is still a good driver - particularly as compared to the distracted majority who are dialing, selecting music or, does anyone still do this - texting? The unfortunate aspect is that she will be the first to be blamed in the event of a fender bender. Age discrimination is rampant. We judge so easily based on appearances, without fact checking. Then again, she hardly looks 80, let alone 94. I'm equally guilty, and don't know anyone else 90+ that I want to share the roads with, though I would love to hear their life lessons while I drive them places.
How does one arrive at 94, mostly unscathed, with the energy and health to walk miles every morning, go to her volunteer jobs with Hospice and Options for Women, socialize nearly every evening? She still reads the morning paper daily - so we cannot credit absence of energy depleting news stories. She credits attitude - let nothing and nobody steal your good mood. I detect a good dose of denial - which seems a powerful solution to many of life's un-fortunate events and annoyances.
Denial is evident when her pain is high and she answers "I'm fine, I'm fine". Neuroscience supports that this works, providing attention is moved to a distraction. So, as in the movie "Yes Man", her policy is yes to everything. Accept every invitation, "or they may not invite you again." Stay very busy. She intentionally stays surrounded by young friends, and adores the children next door. Often she is forced to deal with an "old person", though they may be 30 years younger than her. She hands that title to those with sour demeanors.
One distinction that surprises her Medical providers is that she takes no prescription drugs, other than at surgeries. She breezed through two mastectomies. The first was at age 87 and the second at 93. I blocked my calendar for a month to take care of her, but 24 hours out she wanted escort to a Christmas party. I was only needed to keep her company. After the first round with Stage I Estrogen positive Breast Cancer, Doctors prescribed Irimidex. The painful side effects impacting her bones led to a prescription for Fosomax. For five years she experienced the aches and pains most of us suffer at a much younger age. Thankfully she is off of the drugs now. She will never know if the Irimidex did in fact delay the 2nd recurrence. Our over medicated society has lost site of the importance of drugs, used sparingly. How much dementia is from drug interactions and dehydration, not Alzheimers? Check out Dr. Daniel Amen books for ways to reverse dementia. Mom's walking, water, crosswords and active lifestyle are all in his prescription.
She eats everything we are warned about, from steaks and butter to desserts, but balanced with veggies, nuts, fruits and plenty of water. She never touched coffee and very little liquor. Her claim to fame as the beautiful young blonde at the pub was the server carrying a tray with her tall glass of ice cold milk. Sure, most of that milk was before the era of hormone loading the cows. Having grown up with the Dairy Council ads, she undoubtedly still trusts the half gallons from her grocery today. Best to believe that - as often the minds power is stronger than the additives. I'll stick with organic milk, if any, because that is where my beliefs have been led. This is one of many areas where Mom and I disagree. The fact that we are ok in disagreement is likely a contributor to our open honest relationship. When she expresses concern about being a burden, I hand her a basket of laundry to fold. Problem solved for both of us. Being useful and needed are so important to being alive.
My own family growing up was limited by physical issues for both parents, so it was not until I became part of the family trips that the dynamics of too much togetherness on the road became apparent. For Mom there is no such thing as too much family. For my borderline introvert nature, hyperventilation is a reality after 2 days crowded under one roof talking over each other at the holidays. They have learned to accept my need for solitary walks. I even hid in the dressing room Christmas shopping one year to get myself back together. Then a page calling my name disrupted the peace. I still laugh remembering the Autumn road trip thru Maine. With 7 of us in a van, I was the only one capable of driving for a variety of health reasons at the time. All of them had seen the terrain many times, so it was non-stop "Pam do you see the lake we are passing now"? "Remember when"...as they shared memories. I was so focused on the slippery leaf covered roads there was no looking at the sites - but nobody really knew. I do plan to return one October with someone else to drive.
Last week, our new Pope handed out gift boxes at the Vatican implying they contained medication. In fact, each visitor received a rosary - proven to reduce heart disease, blood pressure, and a number of ailments, when used with great faith. This has been Mom's drug of choice for a lifetime. She keeps a glow in the dark rosary beside her bed or under the pillow at all times, and goes to sleep saying her rosary. Beyond the prayers, there is a tactile benefit to the beads used in world religions, as well as the palms together in prayer, which emotionally bypasses despondency. The act of repeating the Our Father and Hail Mary prayers keeps the mind focused and connected, away from the distracting thoughts of life - and I truly believe has the power to heal wherever the intention is being sent.
What better way to wrap up each day of our life, than to know we have no regrets and are sending our good intentions and prayers to others?
Perhaps this mention will thin the crowds on Florida's roads: On her 94th, Mom renewed her drivers license with nothing but a vision test. The reality is that she is still a good driver - particularly as compared to the distracted majority who are dialing, selecting music or, does anyone still do this - texting? The unfortunate aspect is that she will be the first to be blamed in the event of a fender bender. Age discrimination is rampant. We judge so easily based on appearances, without fact checking. Then again, she hardly looks 80, let alone 94. I'm equally guilty, and don't know anyone else 90+ that I want to share the roads with, though I would love to hear their life lessons while I drive them places.
How does one arrive at 94, mostly unscathed, with the energy and health to walk miles every morning, go to her volunteer jobs with Hospice and Options for Women, socialize nearly every evening? She still reads the morning paper daily - so we cannot credit absence of energy depleting news stories. She credits attitude - let nothing and nobody steal your good mood. I detect a good dose of denial - which seems a powerful solution to many of life's un-fortunate events and annoyances.
Denial is evident when her pain is high and she answers "I'm fine, I'm fine". Neuroscience supports that this works, providing attention is moved to a distraction. So, as in the movie "Yes Man", her policy is yes to everything. Accept every invitation, "or they may not invite you again." Stay very busy. She intentionally stays surrounded by young friends, and adores the children next door. Often she is forced to deal with an "old person", though they may be 30 years younger than her. She hands that title to those with sour demeanors.
One distinction that surprises her Medical providers is that she takes no prescription drugs, other than at surgeries. She breezed through two mastectomies. The first was at age 87 and the second at 93. I blocked my calendar for a month to take care of her, but 24 hours out she wanted escort to a Christmas party. I was only needed to keep her company. After the first round with Stage I Estrogen positive Breast Cancer, Doctors prescribed Irimidex. The painful side effects impacting her bones led to a prescription for Fosomax. For five years she experienced the aches and pains most of us suffer at a much younger age. Thankfully she is off of the drugs now. She will never know if the Irimidex did in fact delay the 2nd recurrence. Our over medicated society has lost site of the importance of drugs, used sparingly. How much dementia is from drug interactions and dehydration, not Alzheimers? Check out Dr. Daniel Amen books for ways to reverse dementia. Mom's walking, water, crosswords and active lifestyle are all in his prescription.
She eats everything we are warned about, from steaks and butter to desserts, but balanced with veggies, nuts, fruits and plenty of water. She never touched coffee and very little liquor. Her claim to fame as the beautiful young blonde at the pub was the server carrying a tray with her tall glass of ice cold milk. Sure, most of that milk was before the era of hormone loading the cows. Having grown up with the Dairy Council ads, she undoubtedly still trusts the half gallons from her grocery today. Best to believe that - as often the minds power is stronger than the additives. I'll stick with organic milk, if any, because that is where my beliefs have been led. This is one of many areas where Mom and I disagree. The fact that we are ok in disagreement is likely a contributor to our open honest relationship. When she expresses concern about being a burden, I hand her a basket of laundry to fold. Problem solved for both of us. Being useful and needed are so important to being alive.
My own family growing up was limited by physical issues for both parents, so it was not until I became part of the family trips that the dynamics of too much togetherness on the road became apparent. For Mom there is no such thing as too much family. For my borderline introvert nature, hyperventilation is a reality after 2 days crowded under one roof talking over each other at the holidays. They have learned to accept my need for solitary walks. I even hid in the dressing room Christmas shopping one year to get myself back together. Then a page calling my name disrupted the peace. I still laugh remembering the Autumn road trip thru Maine. With 7 of us in a van, I was the only one capable of driving for a variety of health reasons at the time. All of them had seen the terrain many times, so it was non-stop "Pam do you see the lake we are passing now"? "Remember when"...as they shared memories. I was so focused on the slippery leaf covered roads there was no looking at the sites - but nobody really knew. I do plan to return one October with someone else to drive.
Last week, our new Pope handed out gift boxes at the Vatican implying they contained medication. In fact, each visitor received a rosary - proven to reduce heart disease, blood pressure, and a number of ailments, when used with great faith. This has been Mom's drug of choice for a lifetime. She keeps a glow in the dark rosary beside her bed or under the pillow at all times, and goes to sleep saying her rosary. Beyond the prayers, there is a tactile benefit to the beads used in world religions, as well as the palms together in prayer, which emotionally bypasses despondency. The act of repeating the Our Father and Hail Mary prayers keeps the mind focused and connected, away from the distracting thoughts of life - and I truly believe has the power to heal wherever the intention is being sent.
What better way to wrap up each day of our life, than to know we have no regrets and are sending our good intentions and prayers to others?
Lose Life's Tapestry
Life is a tapestry we weave over time, with love and trials of life. We look back at our stories with both pride and regret. This is such a beautiful analogy. But it is SO wrong for your forward momentum. Stop dragging that heavy tapestry along, re-write the past to a lighter and less drama filled story, then trade up for your magic carpet ride. You did watch Aladdin, right? All of your power and expansiveness is packed into this itsy bitsy living space of your body.
In reality, Life is a Kaleidoscope. The view may be ever changing with each thought, every breath. Are you standing tall or slouching? Smiling or grimacing? Judging or allowing? Caught in self-pity? We each have the capacity, with practice, to brighten and enhance our view of life. Our God given nature sets the foundation. Our lessons of life, beliefs, and experiences - whether empowering or traumatic, add elements of distortion. Be keenly aware of your responses in each moment. Your response is truly the only thing you DO have control over.
Do you know what you want? Are your goals clear? Are they clearly YOUR goals? Or strongly influenced by those you strive to please, to make yourself good enough? Know this. YOU are perfect. Perhaps not by the current standards another has set - limiting them, not you. But when you live authentically, others will be drawn to you. If you are among the many who do not know what they want in Life, then celebrate the opportunity ahead for your exploration. Listen to your body signals, and follow the paths that give you a sense of ease, a sparkle in your eyes. Then hire or barter out those tasks that better fit the talents of others. (oh - do I hear excuses bubbling to the surface? No money. No time. No respect. You don't trust them?) What else is possible?
When you move past material desires, find a path to pay off debt and grow kind to yourself, you will discover that giving/receiving are inseparably connected. If you have a great depth to climb out of, emotionally-financially-spiritually, allow others to give while you receive gratefully - and give whatever you do have in return. You will find the most satisfying life of play and contribution to follow. Be patient. I'll meet you there.
- Pam
In reality, Life is a Kaleidoscope. The view may be ever changing with each thought, every breath. Are you standing tall or slouching? Smiling or grimacing? Judging or allowing? Caught in self-pity? We each have the capacity, with practice, to brighten and enhance our view of life. Our God given nature sets the foundation. Our lessons of life, beliefs, and experiences - whether empowering or traumatic, add elements of distortion. Be keenly aware of your responses in each moment. Your response is truly the only thing you DO have control over.
Do you know what you want? Are your goals clear? Are they clearly YOUR goals? Or strongly influenced by those you strive to please, to make yourself good enough? Know this. YOU are perfect. Perhaps not by the current standards another has set - limiting them, not you. But when you live authentically, others will be drawn to you. If you are among the many who do not know what they want in Life, then celebrate the opportunity ahead for your exploration. Listen to your body signals, and follow the paths that give you a sense of ease, a sparkle in your eyes. Then hire or barter out those tasks that better fit the talents of others. (oh - do I hear excuses bubbling to the surface? No money. No time. No respect. You don't trust them?) What else is possible?
When you move past material desires, find a path to pay off debt and grow kind to yourself, you will discover that giving/receiving are inseparably connected. If you have a great depth to climb out of, emotionally-financially-spiritually, allow others to give while you receive gratefully - and give whatever you do have in return. You will find the most satisfying life of play and contribution to follow. Be patient. I'll meet you there.
- Pam
You have only minutes to leave your life lessons.
What are your top tips? This is my list: (January, 2014)
1. Be authentically you. What did you love doing at age 5? Do you thrive at what you do now?
2. Breathe deeply, move and stretch frequently. Walk to balance. Pray and meditate daily.
3. Focus your eyes upward often, to assure your brain accesses pleasant thoughts
4. Speak to yourself as you would to a friend - with love and encouragement.
5. Give everyone benefit of the doubt. You don't know what's going on in their life.
6. Your words have power to materialize. I’m not slim, creates slim. I’m not fat, creates fat. Avoid words that are tentative ie. try, should, could. Replace with more impactful “I WILL”.
7. See, Touch, Feel the outcome you intend, dreams you dream, in your mind NOW, so that your plans will get you there. Remove hurdles in the path.
8. Nourish your soul with love and good music. Turn off toxic TV, news, advertisements
9. Nourish your body by eating mindfully and unplugged, with family or alone to soothing music.
10. Know what is true for you in this moment - not believing everything you hear and read, or even your own stories for that matter.
11. I choose to avoid, where possible, high fructose corn syrup, artificial additives & food coloring, partially hydrogenated oils, chemicals on my skin, chemicals in cleaning products, hormones antibiotics and pesticides in my food. Yes: Coconut Oil (Extra Virgin, cold processed organic), baking soda, citrus and white vinegar will replace most cleansers and lotions. Chemical sensitivities and joint dis-comfort in my early life gave motivation. Prevention of diabetes, cancer, heart disease and Alzheimer’s disease are added incentives.
12. Eat more organic raw food, and less genetically modified, processed and packaged food. Dark leafy greens, ancient grains, seeds, berries, healthy oils (avocados, nuts) are powerhouse foods. Test to know your alkalinity is optimal (6.5 to 7.5). Search for Acid/Alkaline food reference chart. Dis-ease will not thrive in an alkaline environment.
13. In choosing a relationship, consider my Mom’s advice: A man will treat you like he treats his Mother. A woman like she treats her Father. Pay close attention before committing.
14. Giving IS Receiving. Your problems diminish when you are busy doing for others. This is great therapy for mood elevation and wellness.
1. Be authentically you. What did you love doing at age 5? Do you thrive at what you do now?
2. Breathe deeply, move and stretch frequently. Walk to balance. Pray and meditate daily.
3. Focus your eyes upward often, to assure your brain accesses pleasant thoughts
4. Speak to yourself as you would to a friend - with love and encouragement.
5. Give everyone benefit of the doubt. You don't know what's going on in their life.
6. Your words have power to materialize. I’m not slim, creates slim. I’m not fat, creates fat. Avoid words that are tentative ie. try, should, could. Replace with more impactful “I WILL”.
7. See, Touch, Feel the outcome you intend, dreams you dream, in your mind NOW, so that your plans will get you there. Remove hurdles in the path.
8. Nourish your soul with love and good music. Turn off toxic TV, news, advertisements
9. Nourish your body by eating mindfully and unplugged, with family or alone to soothing music.
10. Know what is true for you in this moment - not believing everything you hear and read, or even your own stories for that matter.
11. I choose to avoid, where possible, high fructose corn syrup, artificial additives & food coloring, partially hydrogenated oils, chemicals on my skin, chemicals in cleaning products, hormones antibiotics and pesticides in my food. Yes: Coconut Oil (Extra Virgin, cold processed organic), baking soda, citrus and white vinegar will replace most cleansers and lotions. Chemical sensitivities and joint dis-comfort in my early life gave motivation. Prevention of diabetes, cancer, heart disease and Alzheimer’s disease are added incentives.
12. Eat more organic raw food, and less genetically modified, processed and packaged food. Dark leafy greens, ancient grains, seeds, berries, healthy oils (avocados, nuts) are powerhouse foods. Test to know your alkalinity is optimal (6.5 to 7.5). Search for Acid/Alkaline food reference chart. Dis-ease will not thrive in an alkaline environment.
13. In choosing a relationship, consider my Mom’s advice: A man will treat you like he treats his Mother. A woman like she treats her Father. Pay close attention before committing.
14. Giving IS Receiving. Your problems diminish when you are busy doing for others. This is great therapy for mood elevation and wellness.